When Faith is Tough...

Updated: Aug 27, 2019

“The deep roots never doubt spring will come!” ~Marty Rubin

Faith. Complete confidence or trust in someone or something. Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. In both of these definitions, the key is a lack of control. As a person who has faith in another, we recognize we are believing in someone or something that we cannot control.  

It stands to reason, then, that when we have deeper roots, when we are deeper indoctrinated into our beliefs or relationships that we have stronger faith. When I feel connected to a person and feel the person is as invested in our relationship as I am, I have greater faith in their intentions and their decisions. When I read the Bible, attend church and surround myself with scripture, I have greater faith in God.

Having faith in people is difficult. It’s hard for some of us to trust, especially after people have let us down. And, don’t even tell me that no one has ever let you down, I’m not buying it. We’ve all experienced the feeling of betrayal, disloyalty, deception or dishonesty. People are human and have free will, thus it makes sense that we will encounter people who exhibit these traits in our life. Remember the apple?? That set the stage…

Faith in God is hard too. Things happen to us that we don’t understand. How could a loyal and faithful God allow me to get cancer? How could a God who loves me allow me to struggle so much financially?  

Oftentimes, it’s also hard to have faith in ourselves. It’s hard to think that we can be strong during hard times. Have you ever heard someone say, “I’d die if I lost my job!”? Is that a lack of faith in a person’s ability to pull themselves up from the floor after being knocked down and continue walking forward toward their next opportunity? When we feel defeated or downtrodden, that’s faith taking a back seat to anxiety and frustration. When we allow that to happen, we are forgetting who we are. We are forgetting our strengths and our power. We are forgetting how many times we have fallen and gotten back up.

I think success comes in different forms for different people. Regardless of what success looks like, I believe faith is a key component in how successful a person is in their personal and professional lives. I believe that to be truly successful, one must have faith in three things: themselves, others and a higher being. Now, before I get attacked, please remember that I said that I BELIEVE. These are my core beliefs. My atheist friends, no hate toward you, I just believe differently. Don’t stop reading here…you still need to believe in yourself and others.

When we don’t have faith in people, our relationships suffer. When we micromanage employees due to our lack of faith, we aren’t lifting others up, helping them to grow. We are not being strong leaders if we are lacking belief in others. Of course, we always want to do our due diligence in hiring individuals, but if we have the confidence to hire them, we have to also have faith in their abilities. Likewise, when we constantly question our significant other’s intentions or actions, we are lacking faith. We are causing our significant other to feel attacked and untrusted. These are not positive descriptors of a solid relationship.

Faith drives so much of what we do on a daily basis. From our first thoughts in the morning to the prayers we say before we have our last thoughts for the day, faith in ourselves, others and a higher being creates the ability to make positive change.  

Think about it…without faith in ourselves, how can we change jobs, seek a promotion, talk to someone to spark a friendship or relationship or even assert ourselves in an argument? It’s faith in our abilities that allows us to attempt things that frighten us. It’s that faith in a higher power that gives us peace during stressful times. It’s the faith in others that help us to feel secure in our connections with people and organizations.

I meet a lot of people in my coaching business who have been hurt and insulted in life and who now lack the ability to have faith in others. They’ve made poor decisions which causes a lack of confidence or faith in themselves. They feel those insults were due to God not being in their corner, another moment of lost faith.  

Once lost, how do we ever get that faith back? How do we ever take a step out again once all belief, trust and confidence has been taken away. I think there are a few things that can help us regain faith.

1. Immerse yourself in the area of lost faith. Angry at God? Read the Bible. Got to church. Find a Bible study. Feel disconnected from your spouse? Spend more conscious time with your spouse. Put down your phone. Go for a walk with your spouse. Feel you make poor decisions and can’t be trusted? Analyze your last 5 decisions and their outcomes. If the outcomes were poor, how could you have made them better? If the outcomes turned out well, what did you do right? Remember, where our focus is placed is where we end up. If we focus on how untrustworthy our spouse is, you will land in a relationship where there is no trust.  

2. Read and listen to material that makes you better. I say this in almost every post. Your output is equal to your input. Check out TEDTalks. Search for keywords on Google like: motivational talks on having faith in ourselves, keeping faith in others, believing in a higher power, etc. Join a group that provides material that will help you grow and see value in others and yourself.

3. Make a concerted effort to realize the positive aspects of your actions, other’s actions and the will of God. In every situation, find the good, the positive, the valuable lessons that you are being taught.  

4. When you are being tested, when life is getting you down, breathe. Take a moment, close your eyes and just breathe. When you open your eyes, say this, “every problem has a solution and I am strong enough to find a solution to my problem.” If this doesn’t work, do it again. Every time, frustration and anxiety try to invade the space that faith had staked ownership, say it again. Don’t let negative self-talk get in the way of your faith.

I am being tested now and going through a time of trial. I know I will get through this and, frankly, I know there will be more trials to come. This is life. I have power on my side, though. I know that no matter how powerful the storm, my faith will serve as my shelter and protect me until it passes.  

May you be blessed,