I never realized how much mindset impacts us. Like, to be fair, I teach it, I coach others on the importance of thoughts. I've shared with you that I struggle with "the plumber with leaky pipes" syndrome for some time now. So, I don't always practice what I preach routinely. I'm a work in progress and I'm certainly improving. However, to extend myself some grace, I typically entertain mostly positive thoughts. I don't make mountains out of mole hills. I usually see obstacles and opportunities, that kind of thing. But, this past year has brought a host of health challenges I wasn't prepared for. When the doctor told me I had RA and Lupus. I, not only, accepted it, I started to live with that mindset, I'm sick.
Stress and anxiety management became critically important. I worked hard on this part. I did well. But, I still felt "sick".
After countless doctor's appointments, I decided to be well. I was frustrated, angry and frankly, tired of telling my story and tired of appointments. I was done worrying about what I may or may not have. I decided to let the specialists duke it out and I was going to focus on being well. If I don't feel well, I rest. I listen to my body. I started making plans. I started writing for fun again. I started thinking of new things to do. I started crafting again. Creativity feeds my soul.
But, I refuse to take on an attitude of illness...not ever again.
My new rheumatologist decided to run a litany of tests. So far, these are showing...nada. No inflammation. No indicators of an autoimmune disease. Now, I obviously have alopecia so that can't be denied. But, for real, what the heck? Autoimmune diagnoses are so frustrating! One day you are sick, next day you feel okay, it's such a roller coaster.
But, I feel a shift over the past few weeks. I don't understand the change. I don't understand how these tests show new information. I just don't know. But, I do know that I don't want to continue the mindset of being "sick".
After I decided I was well, I felt lighter. I felt, well, healthier, whether I actually am is to be seen. I'm not saying I'm healed. I'm not saying to ignore a diagnosis and can will yourself to being healthier. But I am saying that I believe my attitude, beliefs and the lack of focus on being sick combined with my meditative, journaling and tapping practices have truly changed the way I feel. Next week, I will hear the doctor's interpretation of all of the tests. I will learn of the next steps. I will figure out what to continue doing or what to change. But, I'm focusing on wellness. I'm focusing on doing everything I can to be as healthy as possible, mind, body and soul. I'm speaking health and wellness into existence. I'm tapping on wellness. I'm journaling about health and vitality. I'm meditating with a belief in health.
I'm also making more life changes. I'm working to increase my water intake and decrease my coffee intake. I continue to focus on sleep. I move my body every day...at least I'm trying to stick to that one. I'm planning adventures. I'm building my life and I'm not waiting for anyone to tell me if I'm well...I'm declaring it.
I signed up for a race. I hate running so I will be walking. But a few months ago, I wouldn't even have tried to stretch myself to do this. This is a virtual 5K or 10K. If you'd like to join, please click on the link. Do it for yourself. Take your time if you have to, but don't give up on yourself because of any diagnosis or negativity. Keep the positive thoughts. Your mindset sets your mind. It sets your intent for your life. Every step you take toward wellness is a win.
In peace
~C
I am not a therapist or physician. Mental health challenges are real. Physical health challenges are real. There is no shame in seeking help. Reach out to experts if you need them because you are loved and valued.